What "Across the World" Taught Me

            “There’s never too much adventure.” I discovered that as I went over the ocean. I always tell myself that I live for adventures. I always want to do something, go somewhere, or experience something new. You know what I realized on this trip? I’m terrified.

            I’m scared of being rejected. Scared of being broken. Scared of being dissolved. I’m the one who wants to leave a legacy. So, in 80 years, people say, “Do you remember Lindsey Lewis? Yeah, she took a leap of faith.” I want to be that reliable woman. Where the young look up to me, the old remember me, and the middle aged love me. I am also one to fear death as well. I don’t want to die. I know I’m going to heaven, but it’s scary. I’d be living in PARADISE. FLIPPING PARADISE. How could someone be so sad when they’re in PARADISE? It’s because we’re imperfect, scared, and so independent.

            Being hurt feels like someone reached inside, grabbed your heart, and twisted it. They made a giant fist, suffocating it between their fingertips. It makes you cry, but more of the silent cry because you’re so sad. It doesn’t feel good… to anyone.

            What I personally don’t understand is when I’m so incredibly sad, I still feel at peace. I know it’s okay to be sad. It’s fine to cry. You can tremble and not be ashamed. Us, as sinners, are always going to tremble. We are always going to want to be held. We WILL want to succeed, and we WILL want to be happy.

            I’ve come to a conclusion that the peace comes from the Holy Spirit. I can be so upset over something serious, or over something ridiculously stupid. It’s all in a matter of time. But, as I cry, and as tears stream down my face, my heart almost glows. My blood feels sad. My face feels sad. Even my toes curl in agony… but my heart? It’s sad, sure, but it has a soft inspiration.

            Going to Poland pushed me out of my comfort zone. I adore meeting new people, but that also terrifies me. I’m scared of the “awkwardness,” or the fear of them not liking me. The thing is: Poland proved something to me. It showed that people have love. Everyone is in one body. We’re all people. We all fail. What is there to fear? What EXACTLY is there to fear?

            What’s stopping you, huh? Me? My dream is travel, write, and love Jesus all in the process of my job. Someone else’s job may be to be a doctor. Someone might have a passion for astronomy. Someone else might want to be a taxi driver. Go to the moon. Be a pastor. Do volunteer work. Be a mom.

            The only person that’s stopping you from achieving your goals is you yourself. God already has a plan. He’s got every step. He puts choices out in front of you. People make mistakes, but people also are successful. 

            Make your dreams possible by the power of Christ. 

The Prep of Poland

So I'm going across the world today.
Is that weird?
I mean, it's for my Jesus, so how could it be weird, right?
Well, uh, the fact of the matter is:
I'm going to Poland.

It feels like a dream come true. I've never been over seas. I've always wanted to travel. I figured out my heart is in missions. I don't think I've ever been so scared and so excited at the same time. Is that natural? Is that normal? OH WELL :DDDDDD

I don't think anyone or anything can even be "normal," especially in today's society. Everyone gets distorted ideas on what the "right thing to do is." Like, excuse me, but does it really matter? Can't you just let God sweep you away in an amazing love story? No? Me neither. Because we're scared, we're broken, and we're selfish. I'm hoping this trip will teach me live out the verse: "Cast your cares unto the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall."

If we're being honest here, planes actually scare me... ascending specifically. I've always traveled with my family. Not to mention my dad knows exactly how to calm me down. Oh, and he's not going with me, so he can't exactly come on the plane. I know I'll be fine. People tend to tell me that. "Don't worry about it." "Planes are the safest way to travel." I know I'm alright. I just get anxiety. Maybe it's a physiological thing? I just really hate stress because I hardly get any, so when I feel a load, it comes prettyyyyyyy hard (or so I think).

The basics of this trip include: a straight flight to Paris, France, to land in the giant airport. Then taking a flight to Kudowa-zdroj, Poland. This is the city where the English camp is held. The Poles go a couple hours away from home to come to this camp. Meanwhile, us Americans go across the world to meet them there. We teach them English, and incorporate the Gospel and the story of Jesus. I'm one out of two teens working with kids. We have specific Bible stories to teach them while they do an activity, sing, play, etc. The kids rotate around stations, so we have a variety of age groups. There is a night called "teen night" that is dedicated to just teenagers so we can talk and dig deep in the heart of each indivisual Pole. The camp lasts a week. I'm not exactly sure when we're leaving Kudowa-zdroji, but then we are taking a bus or a train to Prague, Czech Republic for a couple days. We'll take pictures, visit with the team, talk to people in Czech, and build relationships. My flight then leaves from Prague to come home.

Some details I'm not even sure about, but I know all my questions will be answered after the trip. I can't wait to see the stories, hear the stories, and write the stories.

Oh, God, take me forever
Let my arms spread above the heavens
But only in Your name.
Take the fears
Take the worry
Take the hurt
Give it
Love it
Renew it.
The sprouts will never stop,
if they are in Your name, Oh God,
so let the flowers bloom
and the sun shine
and the water rest.
All in power and glory of Your name.
Make me NEW: needed, eternity, worthy.
All in Your name, Oh God.

My flight leaves at 5:15pm tonight and I come back in two weeks.
Please pray for:
-Safety
-Patience
-Trust
-Relationships
-Accountability

Let the God above change your heat--no matter where you are.