What "Across the World" Taught Me

            “There’s never too much adventure.” I discovered that as I went over the ocean. I always tell myself that I live for adventures. I always want to do something, go somewhere, or experience something new. You know what I realized on this trip? I’m terrified.

            I’m scared of being rejected. Scared of being broken. Scared of being dissolved. I’m the one who wants to leave a legacy. So, in 80 years, people say, “Do you remember Lindsey Lewis? Yeah, she took a leap of faith.” I want to be that reliable woman. Where the young look up to me, the old remember me, and the middle aged love me. I am also one to fear death as well. I don’t want to die. I know I’m going to heaven, but it’s scary. I’d be living in PARADISE. FLIPPING PARADISE. How could someone be so sad when they’re in PARADISE? It’s because we’re imperfect, scared, and so independent.

            Being hurt feels like someone reached inside, grabbed your heart, and twisted it. They made a giant fist, suffocating it between their fingertips. It makes you cry, but more of the silent cry because you’re so sad. It doesn’t feel good… to anyone.

            What I personally don’t understand is when I’m so incredibly sad, I still feel at peace. I know it’s okay to be sad. It’s fine to cry. You can tremble and not be ashamed. Us, as sinners, are always going to tremble. We are always going to want to be held. We WILL want to succeed, and we WILL want to be happy.

            I’ve come to a conclusion that the peace comes from the Holy Spirit. I can be so upset over something serious, or over something ridiculously stupid. It’s all in a matter of time. But, as I cry, and as tears stream down my face, my heart almost glows. My blood feels sad. My face feels sad. Even my toes curl in agony… but my heart? It’s sad, sure, but it has a soft inspiration.

            Going to Poland pushed me out of my comfort zone. I adore meeting new people, but that also terrifies me. I’m scared of the “awkwardness,” or the fear of them not liking me. The thing is: Poland proved something to me. It showed that people have love. Everyone is in one body. We’re all people. We all fail. What is there to fear? What EXACTLY is there to fear?

            What’s stopping you, huh? Me? My dream is travel, write, and love Jesus all in the process of my job. Someone else’s job may be to be a doctor. Someone might have a passion for astronomy. Someone else might want to be a taxi driver. Go to the moon. Be a pastor. Do volunteer work. Be a mom.

            The only person that’s stopping you from achieving your goals is you yourself. God already has a plan. He’s got every step. He puts choices out in front of you. People make mistakes, but people also are successful. 

            Make your dreams possible by the power of Christ.